Doing my part to preserve American Mentality

For those unaware, I’ve been bumming around Augusta for the past month or so. It’s been rather uneventful as I’ve had to undergo a tonsillectomy, one of the most painfully annoying experiences I’ve ever been through. Because of the intricacies of  throat healing that I know nothing of, I was resigned to my bed for a solid 10 days straight, only leaving to get the occasional “walk around the bed” bit of exercise.

When the wounds had sufficiently healed after the 13th day of recovery, I was finally able to eat somewhat solid food and hang out with folks without being drugged up. At this point, however,  I had only two weeks left for me in the good ol’ US of A. (Since I graduated in December, I’ll be going back to Germany to work for the study abroad program there for a semester before I have to deal with real world things. Should be tight, but I studied no German while home contrary to my pre-tonsillectomy plans and my job will be to take care of 40 college students who speak little to no German. We’ll see how this turns out.)

I have now 4.5 more days here in Georgia. As I was talking to a friend who currently resides in New York City, Andrew Imusthavecreditforeverythingisuggestorinspire Ford, an idea sparked. It’s not a very epiphanic spark, but one that inspired me nonetheless.

“Morgan,” said Mr. Andrew I. Ford. “You don’t have much longer in America. You should be sure to do things that you could only do in the United States.”

“Like what?” I ponder.

“You know, drink coke from never-ending fountains, eat doritos, fast food, ice.”

“You make a solid point, Mr. Ford, and I appreciate your concern for my American mentality. I shall do that. Tomorrow.”

And, well, tomorrow is today and I’ve kept my word. Since Andrew is in NYC, he was unable to assist me in my quest to preserve the American way of life in my habits and memory so I enlisted the help of two very close friends, Christa and Ryan. I didn’t really have any specific plans for the day or goals of what I wanted accomplished, but I brought along my camera in hopes that I would be able to capture moments that could only happen in America. In this entry (and perhaps some to follow) I will share some photos with you.

1) Mr. Pibb with ice. And free refills.

As you can see in the picture to the left, I am enjoying my choice beverage, Mr. Pibb. A delightful mix of carbonation and liquid cotton candy (at least to me), this drink comes filled to the brim with that American favorite, ice. And believe me when I say that although this may only be my first round of the soda, it will undoubtedly not be the last. And the rounds to come will assuredly be free. And honestly, what’s more American than that? Free ice and refills equals American democracy in my eyes.

    2) Oglethorpe and Brown. Two Georgia legends.

    Ah, yes. James and James. One black, one white, one who spoke, the other who sang…with statues facing each other, these men are still greatly admired today. I think. Although I think it’s safe to say that more people care about and know about James Brown.

    Visiting these statues is absolutely something that can only be done in America. Mainly because German people don’t care about James Oglethorpe and are too into techno to appreciate James Brown.

    Okay, I take that back. The Germans are very accepting of motown, which is a blessing for me, but their knowledge and appreciation for Gospel and Soul is lacking and must be catered to pronto.

    3) The freedom for non-soccer players to play soccer (not Fußball) in public. Without feeling stupid.

    As is ridiculously obvious in this picture (left), I cannot play soccer. There isn’t even evidence of a soccer ball, as I’ve kicked it somewhere no one was and in so doing, was unable to retain any suitable form of balance. Ryan and latecomer to the days events, Adam, stare as I flounder on the ground asking for help. Teetering on the brink of deleting this activity from the list because it seems to be totally false due to this picture, I attest to witnessing Ryan and Adam’s soccer skills–and they weren’t much better than mine. Not a soul passing by said anything about our sub-par abilities, making this an activity that can definitely only happen in the USA. To the right you see me doing what seems to be some god-awful cheer leading move from a junior varsity squad. If you look closer, there is actually a soccer ball in the picture moving towards my goal, Ryan. Who is standing in the same position as when I was asking for help to stand up.

    4) Buying two pairs of brand-name shoes for under $60.

    In a country where the euro reigns and is the equivalent to almost twice the dollar, shopping is expensive. Especially for shoes. While this may seem like a mundane activity, I preach otherwise to all you American girls (and boys with an affinity for bargain-hunting) and encourage you to take advantage of all the sales going on right now. (Here’s to doing my part to better the US economy.) But seriously. I went to Rack Room shoes tonight and bought two pairs of real nice shoes for what would be equal to probably twice that in Europe. I’ll gladly sacrifice room in my suitcase for a couple new pairs of sweet kicks that I know are gonna last forever.

    (**Not Included: Great Clips. I wanted to include pictures from my outing to get my hair cut today. You’re thinking, “But Morgan, people get their hair cut in Germany.” And you’re right. But you know what language they speak in Germany? German. And yeah it’s true that most everyone speaks English, but they don’t tell you that the hairdressers don’t. That said, since I don’t have the vocabulary to get my hair cut in Germany, I wanted to add it here. But since the woman who cut my hair at Great Clips obviously didn’t understand me when I said “half an inch off” and “bangs BELOW the eyebrow,” I doubt I have the correct vocabulary to get it done in the US either. That said, Great Clips was booted off the list. Bitter, party of one.)

    If you’re interested in seeing the rest of the pictures from today, visit my facebook page. Or add me as a friend if you must. Some of them are pretty classy and I’m sure you won’t want to miss them.

    5 Comments

    Filed under General Thoughts

    5 responses to “Doing my part to preserve American Mentality

    1. FAV

      hahaha niccceee smo. very nice outlook on the days events. i approve.

    2. resham

      I love you, morgie! Your blogs never fail to amuse/inspire/intrigue me. I wish you were to do all of those things in person, but alas, you’re going on another great adventure and I am stuck alone eating delivery in Boston. However, I will continue to read/stalk you on facebook per usual. Hugs! Have a safe trip!

      • morgan kelley

        Trust me, I would eat delivery with you in a second. I miss you so much, Resham, and it makes me so sad that we haven’t seen each other/really gotten to hang out in the past year and a half. Soon though…soon we must reunite and cause the mayhem that we were born to create.

    3. Alyssa

      bitter, party of one, please! Glad I could contribute to your astounding collection of witty phrases. xo

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